he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
