Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
