dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
