my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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