I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
