when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
