No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
