Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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