I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
