But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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