Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
