can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
