If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
