Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
only you would photoshop your dick
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
