dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
