This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
