That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
