turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
