Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
