Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
