can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize