So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
