He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
