Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
