Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
