I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
