What a fucking waste of an outfit
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
