Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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