apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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