i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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