He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
there is glitter all over my balls
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