I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
