But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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