He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
