As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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