Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
