Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
