I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
