I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
