it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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