We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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