If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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