So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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