Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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