I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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