FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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