I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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