i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
