I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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