i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
