You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
