I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize