I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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