I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
