im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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